Are you a person of extremes? I have been and try to carve a plateau of regulated emotion and calmness, irrespective of what aggravated panic or anxiety quakes inside. It is hard sometimes, don’t you think? I do not believe I am unique in feeling this way: we are human beings first and not robots. I have never dreamed of electric sheep…
As I wrote this, I am aware I am tired and I should go to sleep earlier, but I feel compelled to finish writing this piece about self-care. Guess what? That’s instead of caring for myself and sleeping. Do you do this? Even if your eyes sting, you feel an intense bed to complete the task in hand.
Also, I sometimes want the answer. To what? You ask. Well, I want to know how some people maintain a balanced routine of seeming perfection, when I often feel that I am Alice, trying to scramble up the sides of that rabbit hole with my fingernails. On the other hand, it’s not that I’m incapable of maintaining a routine; of course I am, it’s just that sometimes I become so engrossed in something that my brain does not switch off and I am so immersed in whatever I am doing, that time stands still… it is only when the alarm sounds I realise I am exhausted and the self-reproach begins again. I am working on this. It’s wasted energy to criticise oneself. “Don’t put yourself down!” I tell the children. “There are plenty of people who will do this if you let them.”
Listen and respond to your own advice, Liz.
I have been like this since a teenager and one day I shall share the intricacies of another story of teenage angst you’ve all heard before.
In the past, I managed to find calm through playing music, swimming, yoga and the gym. I now do so through running and I’m trying to establish a better yoga routine.
In the midst of self-isolation, I am spending more time outdoors and Hannah Wilson’s #DailyWtitingChallenge is enabling me to reflect on what makes me, me. I am also reading more and considering how to plan to be 10% braver. I wouldn’t say I’m a drifter, on the contrary, I work hard and have crammed an awful lot into 41 years. However, I do have a tendency to be spontaneous and impulsive and react to other’s needs rather than my own.
It’s time to plan for tomorrow for the best self-care.